Talking today

David Letterman: James Franco, Bruce McCall, the Allstarz

Jay Leno: Scott Weiland

Late Late Show: George Hamilton, Cobie Smulders

Conan O'Brien: Kiefer Sutherland, Rachel Maddow, Vampire Weekend

Last Call: Jamie Kennedy, Panic at the Disco (R)

Jimmy Kimmel: Tracey Ullman, Baz Luhrmann

The View: Rachael Ray

Regis and Kelly: Kiefer Sutherland, Il Divo, Nick Thompson

Ellen DeGeneres: John Travolta, Robert Pattinson

Tavis Smiley: Natalie Cole

Chelsea Lately: David Alan Grier, Iliza Shlesinger, Jim Florentine, George Wallace (R)

George Stroumboulopoulos: Russell Peters, Kings of Leon

Bonnie Hunt: Scott Foley, David Tutera, students from Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?

Late-night laughs

(from Nov. 19, 2008)

The Tonight Show with Jay Leno

Sociologists say that nine months after Election Day, there could be thousands of Obama babies born, because a lot of people celebrate a big victory by having sex. This is nothing new. In fact, John McCain is a Lincoln baby.

Barack Obama won't be able to use his BlackBerry or even e-mail once he's president, due to security issues. He says he still wants a laptop for the Oval Office desk, however. Bush thought he had a laptop -- but it was just an Etch A Sketch.

Late Show with David Letterman

It was so cold today, I was shaking like Sarah Palin taking a geography test.

The Big Three automakers are asking the government for bailout money. If it gets any worse, these guys will have to trim their $10-million bonuses.

Late Night with Conan O'Brien

Earlier today, the heads of GM, Ford, and Chrysler appeared together in front of Congress to ask for a $25-billion bailout. When asked what they would do with the money, they said, "Buy a new BMW."

Jimmy Kimmel Live!

Larry King turns 75 today. It's the first time since he was in his 20s that he has had more birthdays than ex-wives.

Forbes magazine came out with its list of Hottest Tots, the hottest babies in the world. I guess these days there isn't much going on in the stock market.

Today in music history

* In 1877, Thomas Edison announced he invented a "talking machine" -- something that became known as the phonograph.

* In 1960, George Harrison was deported from Germany after the Beatles had moved to Hamburg to play clubs there. Authorities were tipped off that he was not yet 18 and therefore not allowed to be in a nightclub after midnight.

* In 1968, the Beatles' self-titled double LP, often referred to as the White Album because of its plain white cover, was released. It showed that the Beatles' musical partnership was beginning to unravel. The White Album became the Beatles' bestselling LP up to that time, with advance orders in the U.S. of nearly two million copies.

-- Hamilton Spectator Internet and wire services