In B.A. Johnston's nightmare, Jackson Square turns into Zombie World. He's forced to hide in Dollarama, living on pepperoni sticks and two-for-one Turkish chocolate bars.

In his dreams, B.A. Johnston's life is one continual trip to "the holy three" of Hamilton restaurants -- Murphy's, Hutch's and Easterbrook's.

Heaven is a deep-fat fryer in the bedroom and falling asleep by the blinking light of a Nintendo game. The Tiger-Cats win the Grey Cup every day.

You find all these things and much more in Johnston's songs. He's written more than 100, most of them inspired by the city in which he grew up. You'll find 14 of them on his new CD, Stairway To Hamilton, which he's debuting Saturday at Pepper Jack Cafe.

"Hamilton is definitely still my inspiration," Johnston says. "There's a couple of towns like it, maybe Sydney, N.S., and Saint John, N.B. They've got such gorgeous buildings, but they're all empty. Hamilton reminds me of an 80-year-old woman who used to be hot but now has no teeth. You see any old pictures of Hamilton, and they break your heart. You want to get her some teeth, clean her up."

On his previous six albums, it's hard to mistake the Hammer connections with song such as OskeeWee Wee, Jesus Is From Steeltown and Paul Osbaldiston. But on Stairway To Hamilton, the references are more subtle. You'll find traces of the local spirit in tracks such as Dirtmall, Beamsville Fair and You Will Miss Me When The Zombies Come.

This time around, Johnston has tried to broaden his message with lyrical interludes aimed at fellow members of his lost generation. He rates the value of his Trent University philosophy degree in Hobo 4 Life. He tackles the store clerk's temptation to steal from the employer on How Many T-Bone Steaks Can I Fit In My Pants. And there's the bitter irony of new technology on I Am Betamax.

Like Hamilton, Johnston's music is not always pretty. Heck, it's not even all that musical. At times it's profane, off-colour and politically incorrect. His live shows are foul-mouthed and filled with spraying beer and sweat (Johnston goes through several "costume changes" each show.)

But for anyone who has walked the downtown at night and seen zombies lurking in storefronts and food courts, Johnston's music is strikingly honest, if not laugh-out-loud hilarious.

"I used to consider myself a musician," Johnston, 33, concedes. "Now I guess I'm an entertainer. A poor man's younger Don Rickles, maybe."

Hear Graham Rockingham's What's Happening In TheHammer Thursdays at 4:40 p.m. on the Scott Thompson Show, AM900 CHML.

Showtime

What: B.A. Johnston CD release, Stairway To Hamilton, with Cam Malcolm's Militia,

Kilhuminzu and

the Abbreviations

When: Saturday. Doors open at 9 p.m. Show starts at 10 p.m.

Where: Pepper Jack Cafe, 38 King William St.

Cost: $6 at the door

grockingham@thespec.com

905-526-3331